The Anxiety/Panic Attack Journal

The Print edition of “Stronger Better Happier!” (my first book) is now available on Amazon.com. Check it out! Also, be sure to rate, thumbs up, review and all that good stuff to help me get the word out.

There is also a Kindle edition which can be used with Kindles, iPads, Android tablets/phones, iPhones, Blackberry tablet/phones, iPods, and of course, Mac and PC computers.

Whichever version you choose, I appreciate your support for Stronger Better Happier! So far the Kindle version has done very well, and with your help, I believe the new print edition will do even better. You guys are awesome! =)

Have a peaceful and prosperous summer!
~Jon

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It seems like years since I started writing “Stronger Better Happier!” (actually  about 8 months) and there have been some detours on the way; but I am thrilled to announce that the Amazon Kindle version of my first book, “Stronger Better Happier!” has finally “hit the shops.” A print version is in production as well, and should be available within the next few weeks.

“Stronger Better Happier” is what I would call a ‘different’ kind of personal development guide. The idea was to create a book that was both inspirational/motivational and practical at the same time, including some very cool NLP and behavioral techniques and unusual (but effective) exercises to “make over” your mindset!

I am sincerely grateful to all who supported/encouraged me to pursuit writing ‘Stronger Better Happier.’ Your positive comments and  support made it all possible, and I owe you a debt of gratitude.

The First edition released is the Amazon Kindle version. But keep in mind that you DO NOT need a Kindle to read it. Au Contrair. The Kindle app is available for Mac and PC computers, Android smartphones, as well as iPhones, iPods, iPads and plenty of other pads, phones and devices. I personally have the Kindle apps on both the  iPad and Nexus One phone, and work perfectly. The Kindle app even has special controls for back-lighting and to minimize screen-glare.

You can also try a free sample of the book buy clicking the “send sample” button on the right-side of the Amazon sales page. And of course, you can rate and leave a review as well (greatly appreciated!).

Thanks again for your support. And my personal thanks to Jane, Matt, Brittany and Julia (Juju) for all you do (you guys are the “awesomest.”

Please let me know what YOU think about “Stronger.” Leave a comment on this blog post, or on Facebook or twitter (links below). I would also love you to pieces (hehe) if you would be so kind to rate and review Stronger Better Happier! on Amazon.com. It really does help to get the word out. =)

Until next time, have an awesome week, and EXPECT peace and prosperity,
~Jon

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Anxiety and panic attacks can really take a toll on your life.  I know as well as anyone how emotionally draining day can be.  They can also damage your self-confidence, and leave you feeling “stuck” in life.  And unfortunately, even after people recover from anxiety problems, the confusion and self-esteem issues can sometimes linger for years.  That’s just how devastating anxiety problems are!

A lot of my personal coaching clients have recovered from anxiety problems — even some really serious ones, but afterward they may continue to need encouragement and motivation for some time in order to start “feeling their own power” again.  The draining effects of dealing with anxiety has a way of knocking the wind out of our sails, and can sometimes even lead to depression and ongoing self-esteem issues.

Because so many of my present and past clients have dealt with this problem, I decided to create a coaching program specifically to help people move forward with their life, and get over the issues from their past once and for all.  The result of this is my new “Getting Unstuck” video coaching series:

Getting Unstuck is about a lot more than recovering from anxiety issues, but I have found it to be especially helpful for people who have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks.  Especially those who have dealt with these problems for many years.  The program lays out a serious of not only concepts, but also practical points and techniques to let go the past and move forward with optimism and confidence.  I used what I’ve learned over the years of personal coaching to trim out all the fat, and only include the most useful and productive techniques and concepts.

Of course, people get “stuck” from many different reasons — not just from dealing with ongoing anxiety problems. One of the most common triggers in my experience is divorce or the break up a long-term relationship.  These dramatic life events often leave us feeling confused about our president and our future, and unable to imagine a way to put our lives back together.

But the coaching series is designed to show you how to put things back together, bigger and better than ever.  And to do it not with intimidation or fear, but with real optimism and excitement about new challenges and new possibilities that lie ahead.  The user comments about getting unstuck That have been fantastic so far, so I think I’ve achieved my goal of creating a series that is both practical and motivational for people who are not where they want to be in life right now, and not quite sure how to get there.

Getting Unstuck is now available on JonMercer.net Check it out here: http://www.youniversellc.com/getting-unstuck.html

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I’m happy to report that “Getting Unstuck,” my newest video coaching series, is finally available on JonMercer.Net . I’ve been thrilled at the amazing responses to the series so far; I’ll be updating the site with the new testimonials over the next few days.

Getting Unstuck is for anyone having trouble breaking free from their current circumstances or just finding their direction in life. It’s a guide through the through what I call “The Process,” a blueprint for getting from where you are now, to where you WANT to be.

We get stuck for lots of reasons: divorce, job loss, career change, becoming an empty-nester. Sometimes it’s just that feeling of being in a “rut” and not knowing how to get out of it. And unfortunately, the longer this situation persists, the stronger our habits surrounding it become, until it seems impossible to break free and move forward with our lives.

But here’s the good news: it’s not impossible at all. In fact, it’s not even difficult. I’m being completely serious here. It is NOT hard to break out of these ruts we get into — not at all. You just have to know how to do it…

It’s kind of like one of those Chinese finger traps, the kind that tighten up more the harder you pull. They are super easy to get out of, once you know the trick of doing it (stop struggling!). But until you have that information, you may find yourself pulling harder and harder and getting no where.

This is EXACTLY what Getting Unstuck is about.  When you know how “The Process” works, it’s dead easy. But when you don’t, you just keep struggling harder and harder and continue to feel stuck.

Watch the intro video and get more info about “Getting Unstuck” here.

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Anger is the second worst emotion we can feel. The only emotional state that is lower on the scale, so to speak, is despair, which causes us to feel helpless, depressed, and in some cases, incapable of functioning in normal life. This is why I have occasionally defended anger as a slightly more useful emotion than despair.

But anger is a close second when it comes to destructive emotions. It may be a step up from despair, but it is no way to live your life. It poisons our state of mind in all kinds of ways — some obvious, and some more subtle.

The worst aspect of anger (and least recognized) is that it causes us to feel like “victims.” Any time you are experiencing anger, you are feeling that someone or something has “wronged” you — that they have limited your options, or taken something a way from you. It could be your personal property, the respect you feel you deserve, love, understanding, or peace of mind.

So anger stems from a feeling of lack, and it produces a mindset of victimization. Most often, it is a way of giving other people power over your life. This victim mentality that anger produces causes all sorts of problems, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and a poor self-image. So why would anyone allow another person or circumstances to have that kind of power over them?

I believe it is because, culturally, we have been conditioned to associate anger with increased power, when actually, the opposite is true. When you are feeling anger, you are NOT feeling powerful and in control. You have temporarily surrendered responsibility for your own happiness, and turned it over to someone or something else. You are choosing to be a victim.

In the EasyCalm video series, I discuss the importance of taking responsibility for your emotional state. This is a big step toward recognizing that anxiety (among other problems) is primarily the result of what YOU do, think and feel. Recognizing your personal responsibility is critical in overcoming anxiety, but it actually goes much further than just anxiety problems.

The victim mentality that goes hand-in-hand with anger poisons every area of your life, from your emotional state to your relationships — from your health and well-being to your ability to be successful at work or school. And to improve all of these areas it is necessary to confront your anger issues, and make a decision to no longer be a victim. Instead, take full responsibility for EVERYTHING in your life.

I will admit that some of my clients have found this very difficult to do it first. The society we live in practically worships the victim mindset; every five minutes there’s a commercial for an ambulance chasing lawyer or a news report about how someone felt offended and disrespected by a random comment someone else made. These are all examples of victimization, though. Basically, they’re trying to convince us to believe in a lie…

The great lie of our times is, “you are not in control.” When we buy into this myth we begin believing that life is something that simply “happens to us,” not something that we are responsible for. And that, in a nutshell, is the victim mentality. I can’t find words to explain how important it is that you reject this concept — completely. And along with it, reject the ridiculous notion that someone or something outside of you can “make” you angry. They can’t.

The choice to experience anger or not is yours. It always has been — always will be. This does NOT mean that we don’t experience unwanted circumstances in life. But it DOES mean that it is always your choice how you will respond to those circumstances.

Choosing to become angry about unwanted circumstances is a bit of a cop-out. It’s a way of throwing your responsibility down the drain, and simply allowing yourself to be pulled by the tides of fate or chance. It’s a way of giving up and giving in, making a choice to be a victim rather than accepting full responsibility.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter what someone else has done “to you,” or want kind of unfavorable circumstances you may have encountered in life, you still have to choose to experience anger. Don’t let the media or widespread cultural myths fool you: anger is not an automatic response to life’s ups and downs. It is a decision.

Obviously, we have all experienced bad things in our lives. And at some point each of us has felt betrayed or let down by another person. Sometimes that betrayal is so severe that it seems nearly impossible to forgive them. And you know what? You don’t have to.

But you do have to make peace with what happened– you do have to accept it, because whether we like it or not, these things sometimes happen in life. Without this acceptance, you remain in the victim mindset, and your personal power is significantly decreased, making it far more likely you will experience other emotional issues, such as anxiety, panic attacks, depression, addiction, etc.

If you’re holding on to anger toward a person, a circumstance, or even toward yourself, wouldn’t right NOW be a good time to accept it, let go of it, and move forward? Forgive those you can, and accept the rest. This puts you back in the driver’s seat, in control of your emotions, and ultimately, your life. Exactly where you want to be.

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In my experience, if you have dealt with anxiety problems in your life, there is a 90% chance that you are a “sensitive” person. Sensitivity is a double-edged sword: it is usually accompanied by high intelligence, creativity and the capacity for self reflection, and all of these qualities are great, of course. But sensitivity also has a downside — sensitive people tend to have more emotional issues and self esteem problems than their less sensitive friends or family members.

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My good friend in the UK, Stuart Morris,  performed an interesting experiment to demonstrate the power of our intentions and state of mind using two jars of plain white rice. The concept may sound a bit out-there, but the results he achieved are amazing. Check it out for yourself on Stuarts website:

http://push-pictures.com/clients/www.wonderfullyrelaxed.com/www/jars.asp

I also recommend you take a look at “The Gift,” a beautiful theraputic Video/CD Rom created by Stuart, who is a practicing Holistic Therapist in the Birmingham, England area. You can also listen for free to a sample from the CD Rom on his site. Stuart sent me a copy a while back and I have to say, it is remarkable. Find out more about ”The Gift” at this address:

http://push-pictures.com/clients/www.wonderfullyrelaxed.com/www/jars.asp

Until next time, be well. And remember that our thoughts and intentions DO have power. The power to cause anxiety and other troubles, or the power to heal and comfort. Guard your thoughts carefully

Wishing you peace,
Jon
www.easycalm.com

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Have you ever watched the news and found yourself terrified of some new, hidden health threat or similar that could possibly be the end of you? I know I have. It seems that almost every day there’s a new threat out there; it’s often something hidden in your food or your genes, or our neighborhood, and it it’s almost always lethal. But wait…then the commercial break comes on, and there it is; the pill or shot or company that will make it all better. 

 Shannon Brownlee, author of the book “Overtreated: Why Too Much Medicine Is Making Us Sicker and Poorer”, calls the medical and pharmaceutical companies “The anxiety industry.” She talks about how these industries in combination with the media is constantly telling us to keep a lookout for illnesses and how this is causing real anxiety and possibly a lot of unnecessary medical costs.   

Why are we so obsessed with illness and death? And why are the people that are supposed to look after our health seemingly more concerned with prescribing expensive tests and medications than they are with inexpensive prevention and taking care of our overall health? No wonder we are scared; everywhere we look we are told to be careful and to take caution.  

The primary commodity of the news media is fear; George Gerbner, one of our time’s most important media researches put it this way:  

“People think of television as programs, but television is more than that; television is a mythology - highly organically connected, repeated every day so that the themes that run through all programming and news have the effect of cultivating conceptions of reality.[…] The programming reinforces the worst fears and apprehensions and paranoia of people.” 

Is it possible that the extremely high levels of anxiety we are collectively experiencing as a society has to do with what we are watching? Lewis Lapham, correspondent for Harper’s Magazine said this about it:

“First they give you the vision of hell, which is what scares the person, the audience and the viewer. This is what sets up the good news, which is the advertising, which is the way the game is played. So the idea that the media as a whole does bad news is just not true at all. It’s part of the pitch. It’s the freak show in order to sell the snow cones.” 

The next time you are watching TV, try to pay attention to the absurdity of it all; commercials tell us to ask our doctor about asthma medicines that could help us…or lead to an increased risk of asthma related death. A morning show will tell you how important it is for your health to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, and then the evening new will tell you to tune in at seven to “See what’s in your fruit and veg that could possibly kill you…”                                                                               

Instead of focusing on all the things that could possibly kill you, put your attention to what is actually hurting your life and causing you anxiety: your television.  Tonight, try turning off the evening news and going for a walk instead; you might find that your neighborhood isn’t so bad after all. 

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What’s On Your Radar?

I recently read “The Four-Hour Work Week,” by Tim Ferris. It’s a good read, and full of tips how to better manage your time. One point that Ferris makes many times in the book is the need to strictly limit the amount (and type) of information you allow “on your radar” in your day-to-day life. He calls this the “low-information diet,” and it’s great to improve your efficiency, saving you both time and money.

But as I read the book, I realized that I’ve already been doing this for quite a few years for a very different reason.  A little over 3 years ago I began strictly limiting the info I was exposed to: TV, books,  conversations, etc, because I discovered the importance of  “not focusing on what you don’t want in your life.”

Even today, as a life coach I make it a point to not spend my days focusing on problems–mine or anyone else’s. The reasoning behind this is incredibly simple: What you “study” is what you get.

 Most of us are bombarded with information on a daily basis–and most of it is either unimportant, or unactionable. This information glut is at the root of many anxiety problems. And when it comes to information overload, there are two categories that are most likely to increase general anxiety, and should be avoided whenever possible:

1. Unactionable information
2. Unresolved conflict

Unactionable information is just what is says; information you cannot act on. The television news provides LOTS of this.For example, political upheaval on the other side of the planet is unfortunate, but in all likelihood, there is absolutely no action you can take on this information one way or the other.

 Unactionable info simply clutters our state of mind, and doesn’t add anything of value to our day.

Unresolved conflict is the other big problem.  Unresolved conflict is another word for “drama,” and many of us are (often unknowingly)  “addicted to drama.” When we “carry” around lots of unresolved conflict, we are practically guaranteed anxiety issues in our life. Tuning out the drama and going on the low-info diet can actually improve our physical health, as well as our state of mind.

 As someone who has used this technique a long time now, I guarantee it produces results. True, it does take time to change your old habits, but you can begin today–even right now: walk over to the TV and unplug it from the wall. Leave it unplugged a while, maybe even a week, and then notice how you feel.

You may just be surprised how quickly and effectively the low-information diet takes effect.

This low-info philosophy is discussed in much more detail in the The Easycalm Video Series, because it’s such a huge part of reorganizing your life to be free of panic attacks and anxiety. Check it out.

Until next time, be well,
Jon

Jon Mercer, MA
Personal Development Coach
http://www.easycalm.com/
http://www.attractanything.com/
http://www.cafepress.com/socialskills.81169853
Managing Director, Youniverse LLC

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I used to almost enjoy dentist appointments. Weird, huh? It helped that I had a great dentist (I say “had” because sadly, he moved away earlier this year). Lately though, I’ve been struggling to keep a positive attitude about my dental visits.

To begin with, I’ve had two root-canal procedures in the past year; the most recent had complications that caused an ”ongoing discomfort situation,” which is evidently dentist-speak for chronic pain.  To pile on a bit more fun :-)  the first root canal brought on an annoying case of TMJ, which is a problem with the jaw joint that causes ringing in the ears, face-aches and a host of other weird and annoying symptoms.

And as much as I ramble on and on about keeping a positive mental attitude (my partner Liz is a saint for putting up with it), I must admit, I’ve had more days than usual lately when this proved tough to do.

I’m not sure what the actual point of this post is,  so forgive me if I ramble a bit. I think maybe it’s about persistence in the face of the little hardships life throws our way now and then. Or maybe it’s about understanding that we all deal with these ups and downs, no matter how positive our outlook may be, and how dedicated we are to walking on the sunny side of the street.

 But either way, one thing is clear: I am absolutely convinced that my recent distress would have been much worse had I not tried my best to maintain a positive attitude, even when it was hard to do, and even when I failed.

The simple act of just trying to stay positively focused is important, and it does help, even if you’re struggling, and even if you fall off the path completely now and then. Tomorrow is always a new day–and we only have to get up and try again. I know it’s a cliche, but that doesn’t make it any less true: it is only by quitting that we ever really fail. As long as you don’t give up, you’re still in the game.

As for me, I’ve already decided the outcome: final score,  Jon: 1, Root Canal: 0.

Game over.

Wishing You Peace,

Jon Mercer, MA
www.easycalm.com 

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 First, allow me to answer my own question: I do.

Some people are surprised when I tell them I have a life coach and have had for several years. The conversation usually goes something like this: “yeah, but you are a life coach Jon! Why would you need a coach of your own?”

It’s true that I’ve been a Certified Personal Development Coach for years, and that I’ve successfully coached hundreds of people. But that is exactly why I have a coach too: I have seen first hand how valuable it is to have a dedicated professional coach in your corner.

No self-respecting athlete would try to train themselves, and neither should you and I! We make much more progress overcoming our limitations and achieving our goals when we work with an experienced pro. The truth is, trying to “go it alone” makes things harder than they have to be, and you don’t make half as much progress–no matter what you are trying to achieve.

I’m sometimes asked which areas of life a coach can help with. I can honestly say that having a good coach has helped EVERY area of my life: my state of mind, emotional health, relationships, family and financial well-being. My coach helps me get more of what I want in life, and less of what I don’t. And that’s kind of the point, right?

Working with a coach has also helped me to become a better coach over the years, learning to quickly identify limitations and strengths. And one of the greatest parts of my job is helping clients to use undeveloped resources they already have to break free of old limitations, the past and childhood problems and move forward into the person they are capable of being today.

I’m often surprised (as are the clients themselves) at the positive transformations that occur in clients after we’ve cleared away some of the “cobwebs” that have been holding them back

If you’d like to move forward in your life–whether you’re in need of a complete “life makeover” or just solid guidance to help you stay the course, a good coaching program can take you there.

As for my own coaching program, I do not coach more than five clients at any one time. This protects me from “burn out” and helps ensure that every client gets the personal attention and dedication they deserve.

But because I limit my roster to only five clients at a time, I am not able to accept everyone that applies for coaching, so I must work to select the best “candidates” at any given time.

In order to decide whether I can take on a client, I request that all potential new clients email first and briefly explain their situation and also specify which coaching option they would prefer:

Coaching Option 1: Standard coaching requires a one month commitment and includes a one-hour phone consultation every week, plus up to two priority email consultations per week (note: the initial phone consultation may be longer to get sufficient background info). The normal rate for standard coaching is $495 per month, but subscribers to the easycalm newsletter get $100 off, so your actual rate is only $395 per month (note: don’t forget to to mention you are a newsletter subscriber when you email!)

Coaching Option 2: “Intensive” coaching is the best option for those who want to see major changes in the shortest amount of time. Intensive coaching also requires a minimum one month commitment and includes (2) hour-long phone consultations every week PLUS priority email support up to 3X weekly. The normal rate for Intensive coaching is $795 per month, but again, subscribers to the easycalm newsletter get a big discount–the total cost for subscribers is only $595 per month.

Important points to consider before applying for the coaching program:

1. If you are considering intensive coaching, be sure that you are ready to make a serious commitment to follow through. This program will require more of you in the form of challenging your limiting beliefs and “homework” assignments. You will need to dedicate both time and energy to making this transformation, because that’s exactly what I will be expecting.

2. Please understand that if you are not accepted at this time, it’s not personal, and it does not imply anything about you or the nature of your situation. Often, it is simply because my roster is full or because I feel that I’m not able to fully assist you with the situation you are dealing with at this time. Bottom line: If I’m not sure I can help you, I won’t coach you.

For coaching enquiries, please email coaching@easycalm.com and be sure to include the following info:

A. Describe your situation (briefly), your basic goals, and other relevent information.
B. Indicate which coaching program you are interested in (Standard or Intense Coaching).
C. Don’t forget to let me know you are a subscriber (saves you money!)

I look forward to hearing from you,

Jon Mercer, MA
Personal Development Trainer
Coaching info: coaching@easycalm.com

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“Anxiety and Panic Attack sufferers tend to live lives of quiet desperation.”

As a personal development trainer specializing in anxiety issues, and a former sufferer of extreme anxiety and panic attacks, I can assure you the above statement is true–I’ve been there. I spent years of my life searching in desperation for an anxiety cure that was effective and would last.

Like many people, I tried the medical route: I was prescribed anti-anxiety medications that doctors assured me would provide a “real” anxiety cure with no severe side-effects…at least that’s what I was told…

Fast forward two years: I had gained 50 pounds, had chronic heartburn, fatigue, memory loss (my friends began calling me “Mr Short-Term Memory”) and sexual “dysfunction” (don’t even ask!). My relationship was in ruins and I was barely able to function at my job.

And the worst part? My anxiety and panic attacks were still there!

Here’s what the medical community and drug manufacturers don’t really want you to know: anti-anxiety medications are completely ineffective for most people as an anxiety cure. The best anti-anxiety medications available have success rates that are only slightly higher than a placebo–and when you factor in the severe, soul-destroying side effects, it’s easy to see how dangerous and harmful these medications usually are.

 I’m not saying there’s a conspiracy going on (exactly), but I am saying that there is a ton of money to be made by keeping this information quiet. And that’s exactly what the big corporations do. Which is great news if you are a stock holder, but terrible news if you are desperately seeking an anxiety cure, as I was for so many years.

 So if medication is not the answer, what is?

A “real” anxiety cure must be sustainable, not a quick fix that makes your life progressively worse over time, creating a type of addiction that keeps sufferers feeling like helpless victims. A “real” anxiety cure is all about empowerment–taking back control over your life.

The method  I used to cure my anxiety problems has been well-documented both online and off: The EasyCalm System for Anxiety and Panic Attacks.

The EasyCalm System is the only proven anxiety cure presented in video format, for a one-on-one training experience, and it’s all natural–no weight gain, memory loss, or other weird side effects. And best of all–no more feeling like a helpless “victim,” watching your life slip away from you, and feeling powerless to do anything about it.

The cure for anxiety is not to be found in a pill. A real and lasting anxiety cure can only come from proper training and and the knowledge of what is causing your anxiety situation in the first place. Watch the free EasyCalm introduction video (27 minutes) and find out for yourself. And then take YOUR life back.

Don’t believe the hype folks–There IS a real, drug-free anxiety cure. I cured my anxiety and panic attacks years ago by following this method. I truly hope YOU won’t you wait years to get this information. The sooner you take action–the sooner you take back control of your life.

 Jon Mercer, MA,
Personal Development Trainer
www.easycalm.com

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