The Anxiety/Panic Attack Journal

I Get Weird Questions Sometimes…

Here are a few of the most “unusual” questions I’ve received in the past few months. Obviously, all names are withheld for privacy. Enjoy =)

Q: Dear Jon do you ever feel like your forehead will explode and the colors go really brite but then just before everything is going boom you get all calm like your just had sex?

A:  Hi, No, I don’t think so. Actually, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that. Talk to your doctor about this first before assuming it is anxiety-related.

Q: Are you the same person as you are online? I mean like what is different about you  when people actually meet you?)

A: Hi [Name Withheld], Uh…I’m probably uglier. haha  But I’m basically the same dude. A few clients expected I would be very serious like some kind of  ‘guru.’  I’m not. haha I laugh about stuff a lot. And since we’re keeping it real here, one client was also surprised how much I curse sometimes =). Hey, I gotta be me.

[This next one isn’t actually weird, I just like the way she phrased it]

Q: Do you use your own programme for anxiety? Does it work for you or is it like a chef not wanting to eat his own food?

A: Hey [Name Withheld], I have used my own techniques from the EasyCalm Series MANY times. Fortunately I don’t have those kinds of anxiety issues any more, so I don’t need use them these days. I do keep many of the concepts in mind though, especially when life gets stressful. My own food, however, I have a hard time keeping down 

Q: I like your voice very much when I listen to your series! Every night you are talking to me before I  sleep.  If you know me better do you think you would like me. like as special friends?

A:  Hi there, I already have a “special friend,” so we’d have to be regular friends, mmkay?

Q: How you doing Jon, my sister really like’s you and want to know if you’ll come to Denver and help her with her anxiety about talking to people. Thats why I’m emailing for her, shes to shy to do it. My friend is gay but he likes you too. Are you gay or straight? Hpefully one of these two would be right for you.

A: Haha…you’re quite a match-maker, aren’t you? Tell you’re sister I’m flattered. There’s a lot of resources on JonMercer.net to help with the social anxiety. Have her check those out. About your friend, can’t help you there. I’m straight.

Q: I read that you lived or went to school in Norway. Is this true. Kan du Norsk?

A: Hey [Name Withheld], That’s true. Jeg prata Norsk ikke so vaerst til aa vaerre en utlending.

Q: Do you get sick and tired of what u do helping people and hearing about problems, blah…

A: The answer is YES!!! haha Seriously though, you can get tired of anything you do for many years, but 95% of the time I love what I do. I have nothing to complain about.

Q: Jon, do you ever get clients who are just assholes and you don’t want to coach them. Or they have some serious messed up problems and needs to be in a mental hospital?

A: No, I don’t accept clients like that. =) I only coach people who I feel I can help and I will enjoy getting to know.  That’s why many of my clients become friends later on. To answer the second part of your question, I have referred a few people who contacted me to a specialist for help, if you see what I mean…

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have heard it said that if you want to get along with people you should avoid talking about religion or politics. Well, I’m going to break that rule today and get into a discussion about the role of religion in the lives of anxiety sufferers. We’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck!

First, it’s important for me to state my point of view, so you know where I’m coming from. I am not religious. I was brought up in the Christian faith, and I even attended a Catholic university as an undergraduate (St. Thomas University, Miami, Florida). But the religious aspect of life never “took” with me. That’s just who I am, and I believe it’s important to be honest about these things above all else.

Having said that, I have many family members and good friends who are deeply religious — several are even ministers. Occasionally, one of my non-religious friends will ask “how can you be friends with so-and-so? They’re so religious.” But I see no contradiction at all in connecting and forming close friendships with people who have a different viewpoint from myself. In fact, we have quite a few Baptist and Methodist ministers who are affiliate partners for the EasyCalm anxiety series, and I appreciate both their support in getting the word out, and their acceptance of my viewpoint. I am fortunate to have attracted people into my life who accept me as I am. The least I can do is to return the favor.

I’ve also been asked many times if the EasyCalm method is appropriate for Christians (or people of other faiths), or if it conflicts with religious teaching. I believe that it is completely appropriate. And to the best of my knowledge, there is no conflict between the techniques taught in the EasyCalm series and Christianity, or any other religion. So while the series is not in itself “religious,” it is not at odds with religion at all.

 Religion is about faith — Anxiety is a LACK of faith

Many people are better able to deal with anxiety situations because of their religious beliefs. And this makes perfect sense when you think about it, because religion is all about having faith. Anxiety and panic attacks, on the other hand, are a lack of faith. This doesn’t mean that someone who is experiencing anxiety or panic attacks is not truly religious; it just means that WHILE they are experiencing anxiety or panic, their faith is clearly at a low point. The type of fear and outright terror experienced during a panic attack is the complete opposite of the courage and faith in God taught by Christianity, for example.

Now, as presumptuous as it may seem for a non-religious person to give religious advice to believers, that’s exactly what I’m about to do (I didn’t get where I am without being presumptuous — or without coaching and befriending many religious people and observing what helped their anxiety situations

If you feel your anxiety levels rising or a panic attack coming on, turn to your faith. Quiet your mind and pray, but not in the sense that you’re praying for a specific outcome (like “God please stop these anxiety attacks!”). Rather, pray that God’s will be done — whatever that may be. So if it is His will that you should experience anxiety or panic, pray that that is exactly what happens.

This may sound counter intuitive, and I admit it does take courage and faith. But the whole point of turning to your faith is to recognize you are part of something bigger than yourself, and turn yourself over to that higher power. This exercise of faith without desiring anything for yourself helps many people to lessen the effects of anxiety and panic attacks. Another way of expressing this is in the popular saying, “let go and let God.” If you are religious, that is exactly what I recommend you do when panic or anxiety strike: let go and have faith that God will take over.

“According to your faith it is done unto you” is not just a catchy biblical quote. It’s a statement of metaphysical truth we should ALL bear in mind.

~ Jon

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Have you ever watched the news and found yourself terrified of some new, hidden health threat or similar that could possibly be the end of you? I know I have. It seems that almost every day there’s a new threat out there; it’s often something hidden in your food or your genes, or our neighborhood, and it it’s almost always lethal. But wait…then the commercial break comes on, and there it is; the pill or shot or company that will make it all better. 

 Shannon Brownlee, author of the book “Overtreated: Why Too Much Medicine Is Making Us Sicker and Poorer”, calls the medical and pharmaceutical companies “The anxiety industry.” She talks about how these industries in combination with the media is constantly telling us to keep a lookout for illnesses and how this is causing real anxiety and possibly a lot of unnecessary medical costs.   

Why are we so obsessed with illness and death? And why are the people that are supposed to look after our health seemingly more concerned with prescribing expensive tests and medications than they are with inexpensive prevention and taking care of our overall health? No wonder we are scared; everywhere we look we are told to be careful and to take caution.  

The primary commodity of the news media is fear; George Gerbner, one of our time’s most important media researches put it this way:  

“People think of television as programs, but television is more than that; television is a mythology - highly organically connected, repeated every day so that the themes that run through all programming and news have the effect of cultivating conceptions of reality.[…] The programming reinforces the worst fears and apprehensions and paranoia of people.” 

Is it possible that the extremely high levels of anxiety we are collectively experiencing as a society has to do with what we are watching? Lewis Lapham, correspondent for Harper’s Magazine said this about it:

“First they give you the vision of hell, which is what scares the person, the audience and the viewer. This is what sets up the good news, which is the advertising, which is the way the game is played. So the idea that the media as a whole does bad news is just not true at all. It’s part of the pitch. It’s the freak show in order to sell the snow cones.” 

The next time you are watching TV, try to pay attention to the absurdity of it all; commercials tell us to ask our doctor about asthma medicines that could help us…or lead to an increased risk of asthma related death. A morning show will tell you how important it is for your health to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, and then the evening new will tell you to tune in at seven to “See what’s in your fruit and veg that could possibly kill you…”                                                                               

Instead of focusing on all the things that could possibly kill you, put your attention to what is actually hurting your life and causing you anxiety: your television.  Tonight, try turning off the evening news and going for a walk instead; you might find that your neighborhood isn’t so bad after all. 

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